Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
