You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
