u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
