if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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