So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
