Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
