Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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