Tell her she can't have a vagina
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
