I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
