No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
