Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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