It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize