Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
