Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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