I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
