You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
