I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
My vagina just recognized that song.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
