i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
