I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
