You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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