It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
