Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
