Jerry, you need to find god
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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