I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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