My brain says no but my pants say off.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
