i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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