i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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