why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
