I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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