I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
