she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize