32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
