Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
