you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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