He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
