He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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