you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
