some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
A bitchslap is in order.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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