ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
