Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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