Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
