ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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