OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
