i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
