I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
