I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
