if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
