Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
