Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
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Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
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And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize