i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
