perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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