Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize