Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
