that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
