i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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