hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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