Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize