69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
