But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
