And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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